If you have a problem with people running all over you or treating you badly, in most cases it’s because you are allowing them to do so. This leads to several things that poison your life and make you an unhappy person. Fortunately, there is much you can do about it where the easiest remedy is to learn to say NO!! Alternately, you can avoid such situations and not allow others to affect you the way they do. Here is a list of ten things that poison your life and how you can avoid them.
You Feel Ashamed of Your Appearance and Preferences
Although dress codes, manners, and etiquette does exist and needs to be followed, nobody has the right to undermine your dressing sense as you aren’t obligated to anyone. When you find negative remarks against your choice of dressing or your preferences, don’t make any excuses for yourself as you don’t owe anyone. You have nothing to feel guilty of. Nosy parkers don’t have much going on in their lives which is why they have all the time in the world to gossip about others.
Your Seniors Force You to Choose between Family and Career
This is a common scenario both at work and even at home. BUT!! Tell yourself this!! There is no law that forces you to choose between the two. THE CHOICE IS YOURS!! It is not mandatory for you to keep succumbing to the pressure from work or family to devote yourself and time to just one. This may ultimately lead to anxiety and depression. Firmly communicate your needs and constraints to both sides and practice an effective routine of time management to help you perform well at both ends. In this way, you maintain a stress-free balance between work, family life or your own personal life and entertainment.
Your Life and Path are Already Decided
In Spite of the fact that your parents may know life better than you being experienced in years; it does not give them the right to dictate their choice of career for you. It may seem a good one no doubt but this is your life; it is your abilities and dreams in question. As you will have to bear the ultimate consequences of any decision, the choice then should be left up to you. This could be one of the things that poison your life on a permanent basis should you allow others to dictate to you.
If you want to be a designer and embark on a career in fashion, the possibilities are that you may not be a famous Armani or Versace but at least you’ll be a HAPPY ONE. That’s better than being a depressed lawyer.
You Relationship is Making You Unhappy
Are you dating a person or an onion!!! Because you always seem to be CRYING!! DOES THIS SENTENCE APPLY TO YOU? NO one is asking you to divorce your spouse or break up with your partner BUT!! If life is easier without such people, then you need to reflect on whether it’s worth being together. A toxic spouse or partner isn’t really worth.
Coercion of any Kind, Physical or Mental
Just because you are someone’s spouse doesn’t make them own your body. Conjugal rights should never be misinterpreted as the RIGHT TO DO WHAT YOU WISH. Conjugal rights cannot be imposed upon without taking in consideration a spouse’s desires, feelings and well being. Coercion is marital relationship can truly be one of the damaging things that poison your life. A considerate spouse or partner will sympathize and accept your refusal. On the other hand, if you are accused of being selfish, then your relationship needs some serious thought.
Lies and Deception
Although we can deal with deception to some extent at the workplace e, it is in families and relationships that it becomes tough. This causes the undue stress of having to put up with lies and deception. Never overlook continuous lies and deception from relatives, friends, partner or a spouse. If you chose to maintain a relationship without trust, then you should tell the person that you are aware of everything without judgment. This may not change a person and neither is changing him or her your concern as you can only support someone to a certain extent. But, if someone truly loves and respects you, there won’t be lies and deception in the first place. That again requires a rethink on the relationship.
NO Respect at Work
There are many people who silently tolerate malicious remarks and disrespect from a boss, seniors or even colleagues. WHY SHOULD YOU?? Ask yourself!! Do you really need the job that badly to tolerate such negativity???? IS it worth the daily humiliation??? You must stand up for yourself and your rights. Never be afraid to respond. No one is asking you to wage a war but you can politely admonish people or gracefully but firmly respond to bullying.
Physical and Emotional Abuse.
There is NO advice that advocates compromise or managing physical and emotional abuse. No act of humiliation or abuse of any kind can ever be justified and neither should you ever tolerate any directed towards you. Such a situation always occurs at home and in relationships of various kinds. Your safety comes first and you should never ever remain in a relationship that threatens the sanctity of your physical and mental health. This is undoubtedly one of the worst things that poison your life with the possibility of scarring you emotionally.
Remember this!!! In most cases of compromise, it is a One Way Street of love that influences the compromise and that street is YOURS entirely. YOUR abuser has no feelings for anyone except himself, he is not in love with you but desires to control you and make you submit to his own whims and fancies through the torture of every kind. THUS!! You should always say NO!! You possess the right to say no to the abuser and even report them to the authorities concerned.
Being Reproached for Imperfections
IS THERE ANYTHING such as Perfection??? It is a myth. The ideal man, the dream child, the dream girl, these are just desires of the mind and will always be figures of speech. Just because you do not conform to the expectations of someone does not give them the right to admonish or reproach you. NEVER abide by another’s standards of perfection and never allow anyone to try and change your appearances such as your hair or your figure.
The changes you make aren’t in any way a guarantee of receiving more love from that person because there will always be something else they may find imperfect. But!! When you do receive advice from those who are genuinely concerned about you, then, by all means, take it.
Domination and Control
These too are among the worst things that poison your life because they literally strangulate your right to live in a free atmosphere. Regardless of it being parents, friends, colleagues, a boss or a spouse, if someone wants to control every aspect of you, it means they are dominating and selfish people. It is not a sign of caring or love. We all need our own personal space. NO relationship is possible without mutual understanding and trust. If you allow such a situation to get out of control, you would soon be feeding the mood of a tyrant to become worse forcing you into a mental prison.