The power of a positive outlook in life is crucial in setting up new aspirational goals to move ahead in life. When you focus on your goals and achievements, you tend to automatically ignore all the negative influences and influencers in your life, dragging you down and away from your dreams. Let me warn you it is not an easy path to follow and you have to make your mind and heart of titanium to deflect all the negativity flung at you in the pursuits of your success as the world hates it when you start surpassing them and leave them behind even your loved ones and so-called family and friends so trust no one and keep going forward to your goals. That being said, here are ten things to give up to be happy
1. Give up FOMO.
As Richard Branson once quoted business opportunities are like buses, if you miss one there is always one coming next.
If you are always in constant anxiety about missing out on past opportunities, you are wasting time and energy. You limit yourself to a short term outlook and always feel like a loser brooding over lost opportunities while ignoring the new ones coming your way. Stop feeling guilty about the past be optimistic that there are many more opportunities knocking your door to stay motivated.
2. Give up unrealistic standards of perfection
Always striving to be perfect is stupid and has ruined many careers and lives. It is an unrealistic and toxic mindset that should be kicked out instantly. If you are always trapped in trying to be perfect, you’ll never be out of the herd mentality. You will never get out of the comfort zone (which is a creation by the societal norms) until you venture into something new where a few slip-ups and mistakes can improve yourself. The ultra-successful in the world have a pattern treating their failures as learning experiences and not something to wallow in self-ridicule. Sometimes perfection may leave you standing behind while others have reached their goals. This should be one of the things to give up to be happy.
3. Give up on expecting praise from others
Nobody has the time to praise you for your success, because they are busy with their struggles and could be jealous of your success. Stop wasting time waiting for approval or praise from your peers as they would be false and pretentious. So, how do you motivate yourself to be happy? Self-congratulate! Yes, because it is only you who knows how much blood and sweat you have drained to get the success you have achieved.
After every day’s work, maintain a diary and write down at least 5 things that you have accomplished each day. They do not need to be earth-shattering but even simple things that are worthy of self-congratulation. Then re-read those notes every morning before you start your day. This is especially helpful if you are going through a bad phase and reading your entries will make you be happy and fill you with confidence.
4. Give up on negative self-talk.
Negativity could well be among the most important things to give up to be happy. Negative and nasty self-talk is the biggest source of self-doom even for the most brilliant and prodigious minds. Because your consciousness is so poisoned by the external world and toxic people around you that your inner talk also gets polluted and you start throwing nasty words and self-deprecating comments to yourself instead of being your own best friend and savior.
Make a list of positive reaffirmations and keep them with you always. Repeat them to yourself when you are getting ready for the day. Just take a few minutes off and repeat the affirmations loudly to yourself so that they sound convincing to you and trust me “fake it till you make it” really works here.
5. Give up on being defensive.
To be happy and successful you need accurate and critical feedback which should not be taken personally but as a lesson to improve your work. Even Forbes has proved that successful entrepreneurs are the ones who are always on a lookout for feedback. Don’t be fearful about feedbacks and on the defensive but try to understand how others view your performance. It is easier said than done but it’s doable and can be the link between you being a mediocre in life or the grand success you always hoped to be.
6. Give up the scarcity mindset.
It is belief that says that there is just limited scope of success around us and everyone else is gunning for it too so your chances of getting it is so much lower due to competition.
In fact, Stephen Covey believes in an abundance of scope and success and there is a share in the pie for everyone. No one is going to eat away your success so collaborate with others, elevate your teammates who will contribute to your success instead of stealing it from you. This is called the abundant mindset.
7. Give up on being set in stone
Being determined and being inflexible are two different things altogether. It’s always good to have a blueprint of your modus operandi but times and situations can always change and then the exigencies of a situation would need you to tweak your approach, to reach your primary goal. Your initial business plans and models may not usually pan out, but instead of drowning in your sorrows of failed plans, make changes in the approach and tackle the situation differently, take help, and guidance from others. Just modify your route and approach and the end result would be the same.
8. Give up the short-term mindset
Remember the dictum “never to make permanent plans from temporary emotions”.
In a stressful situation when we see the decades of carefully plans and strategies are not giving out the expected results or are slow in their outcome, people throw them out of the window out of frustration. But the really successful people also get angry, frustrated and sad when things do not work their way but they do not discard their strategies based on their current emotions. They wait to be calm and level headed and they start the work again on the plans, make the necessary changes and go for it.
9. Give up on the negativity of others.
When we listen to other people’s sob stories, we do feel relieved that we aren’t the only ones screwing up and we are actually not that bad as others. But do not be a regular in this pity party as this is going to sap you off all the positive and courageous instincts that you have. While it’s impossible to get rid of negative situations, people and thoughts from our lives, it is in our hands to strip away their toxins that stick to our psyche as well. Rather choose to be with people who are positive, driven and optimistic. Don’t let the whiners drag you down. the negativity of others is certainly among things to give up to be happy.
10. Give up comparison
“Comparison is the thief of joy” Theodore Roosevelt.
If you have been conditioned from childhood (thanks to our parents and teachers) to compare yourself with others, it’s time to STOP. There will always be someone who is better or faster than you but life is a marathon, not a hundred-meter sprint. If you have the habit of comparing your peers getting ahead in life or your relatives having a happy family while you are still struggling to establish yourself, just remember everyone gets his due at the right time and who knows your dues are much bigger and better than all of the others! So just focus on your path and try to give up these ten things to be happy and run on.